Virtual Daze

Note: This post was written at a time I was defending someone I should not have defended. I must own the content, but I do wish to point out that the people contained herein have been misrepresented by me. I sincerely apologize to each of them, because they did not deserve my hurtful words.

 

Skip the words and jump straight to the bullfuckery.

While it’s not a new topic, there has been renewed talk about bullying in the #p2 community on Twitter recently. Why? Because there’s a group of people hyper focused on “exposing” a very dear friend of mine, @Shoq. Shoq is a name many in the Twitter political community are familiar with, and I’m sure the mere publication of this post will bring about cries of “SHOQ PUPPET!” “TROLL!” “MANSON GIRL!” “FLYING MONKEY!” “CULTIST!!”, etc. A small, but dedicated, group of Shoq haters will launch into action to make sure everybody understands that I’m ONLY writing this because I’m one of Shoq’s minions and you should totally write off anything I say forever and ever because only Fox News they know the *real* truth.

Seriously. Wait for it. You think I’m kidding? Just RT this and see what happens. Oh, this post will set them off for DAYS (at least).

The Shoq Deranged have been pushing the narrative that Shoq is a ZOMG BULLY WHO TARGETS WOMEN!!!!! for at least the last year. Some of them have been doing it for even longer. I’m very aware of the reasons why, and while the details will be available elsewhere soon, my focus is on talking about the behavior of these people and how what they’re doing has become acceptable to many. Apparently if you’re Shoq and you get into a heated argument with someone on Twitter, or you call out the Shoq Deranged on their behavior, you are automatically labeled a bully. But if you’re Shoq Deranged, and spend a substantial amount of time talking negatively about Shoq, harassing his followers and people he engages with, spreading rumors of unsubstantiated claims of bullying and harassment, trying to misrepresent his criticisms of dishonest and hyperbolic media coverage as “proof” that he’s a Super Secret Republican Operative, or madly retweeting creepy websites that have been set up to “expose” him, well…that’s just a public service!

You know what this tells me? So long as you don’t like the target, most are willing to turn a blind eye to the people engaging in this behavior. Let’s take a moment to get an idea of what bullying, and specifically cyberbullying, actually is.

From StopBullying.gov:

Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:

• Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
• Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
• Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

Cyberbullying, instead of happening face-to-face, happens through the use of technology such as computers, cell phones and other electronic devices.

Examples of cyberbullying include:

• Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others
• Spreading rumors or lies about others by e-mail or on social networks
• Creating websites, videos or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

Bullying online is very different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be: 

• Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
• Shared be shared to a very wide audience
• Sent anonymously

 

The Bullfuckery

OHAI! Crazy, huh? Naturally, the Shoq Deranged will cherry-pick some tweets or other artifacts from Shoq as PROOOOOOOOF!!!!!!!! that Shoq is a cyberbully. Color me psychic, this will happen. In response, I offer the following:

• A snapshot of the Shoq Deranged – tweets just from the last week.
• Beccay2 and themanknownasx Must Warn Van Jones!!!
• Beccay2 claims to be hacked…again (She’s cried wolf before, you see. Oh, and here too.)
• Another Sockpuppet – HankChinaskiBuk
• _JGR is Shoq Deranged – and a Truther
• They’re baaaaaack! Return of the Shoq and ABL-Obsessed Trolls
• No proof required, eh Veritas333?
• The End of Veritas333
• ZOMG! Shoq is a bully! (But I can’t prove it.)
• The timeline of the obsessive psycho, @2Deforcer2 and an even earlier grab of when 2Deforcer2 first showed up on the scene.
• Trolls Here, Trolls There, Trolls ERRRRRYWHERE
• When You Can’t Argue Just Obfuscate
• Analysis With some Shoq and Dawg
• Responses to Analysis With Some Shoq & Dawg
• Miaaculpa
• NadiaArt2 (formerly Nadia_Arts and several other names over time)
• The Eclipse of Logic
• Insanity Now
• When Will People Man Up?
• Liars, and Fables, and Smears – Oh My!

Or how about all the anonymous sockpuppet accounts that are set up just to harass Shoq and his followers? Like Shmuq, or Croq_, or ShoqAnon? Or conspiracy theories about deliberately circumventing Twitter’s block feature?

Or the baseless accusations of Shoq’s bullying, never accompanied by any proof:

• WTF did Shoq “do” to GottaLaff…exactly? (and Manyko2 later admitted to me in DMs that he’s never seen the evidence of this bullying. I don’t make a habit of publishing DMs, but if he ever denies the conversation I’ll take it as permission to publish the evidence.)
• And the same crap from Beccay2 (formerly Rebeccay):

Evidence? Pffft! Who needs that?!?!

Or what about allegations that Shoq is a pedophile? Tweeted and retweeted here, here, and here. Notice ShoqAnon’s threats to harass people who follow Shoq in that first link?

This shit is not normal. What if it were happening to YOU? Would that be okay?

I ask you, who is doing the cyberbullying? If your answer is “Oh, it’s still Shoq”, then I can’t help you. You’re Shoq Deranged. To others who are rational and can see beyond to the bigger picture, I say this: You don’t have to like the guy – I’m not trying to change your mind – but I’m trying to point out that there is some truly fucked up stuff going on here, and you’re probably sitting back with popcorn. Everybody has the right to dislike someone. People talk smack, and that’s okay too. But what’s going on here is not okay. Not in the slightest. There are thousands of people who don’t see Shoq the way the Shoq Deranged see him – his follower count supports that. A majority of Shoq’s followers have been following him on Twitter (and many of them pre-Twitter) for years, and have never witnessed the type of behavior claimed by the Shoq Deranged. So who to believe? I can’t make up your mind for you, but I know who I’m standing by.

Why do I care about this so much? Because my life is affected by these assholes too. These same people have harassed me, they’ve harassed my friends, spread rumors about me, questioned my very existence, and generally just pissed me the fuck off. There are days when I ignore it, days when I laugh about it, days when I can’t even believe what I’m seeing, and days when I pity those involved because only people with truly empty lives and low self-esteem would engage and encourage this harassment. But mostly, I’m just not going to sit back and watch them push this false narrative about my friends, all the while ignoring their hypocrisy and making their fake proclamations of “kindness” and “peace” and “unity”. The Shoq Deranged keep this shit going, and when Shoq or those affected respond, we’re accused of bullying. Fuck that mess.

ALL of this shit involves the same players. You go through the chirpstories and the followers and retweeters of these anonymous sockpuppet accounts, and you see the same faces. The same connections between certain people. It’s not a coincidence, it’s a deliberate and concentrated smear campaign.

There is so much more I could add to this post. There are so many other issues I could discuss. But others have covered it, or are in the process of covering it. I will probably include additional chirpstories and screenshots over time, but right now I don’t see the need.

What the Shoq Deranged are doing is not normal.

Let me say that again.

What the Shoq Deranged are doing is not fucking normal.

If you don’t like Shoq (or anyone who compels you to behave this way, for that matter): don’t follow, block, ignore. It’s really that simple.

 

Note: This post was written at a time I was defending someone I should not have defended. I must own the content, but I do wish to point out that the people contained herein have been misrepresented by me. I sincerely apologize to each of them, because they did not deserve my hurtful words.

 

**UPDATE TO THE UPDATE** (Yes, I am just like Greenwald. And it feels dirty.)

A dear friend has told me she’s started receiving abusive emails from @Beccay2. Nice. The best way to prove you’re not an unstable nutcase is by piling on more nuts when you get called out. Seriously, just fucking fuck you @Beccay2.

**UPDATE**

Still believe @Beccay2 is “kind” and just misunderstood? Still don’t think she’s been an explicit participant in smear campaigns?

Here are some tweets @Beccay2 sent when she decided @My1BlueEye had wronged her after he pointed out that she had betrayed his confidence:

“@ssfw70 Im so sorry… Watch out on twitter, 2. Some pretend to be decent then they turn into nasty pervs!” [screenshot]

“@xspook2 aren’t you a guy? Yes, I see you are, James.. YOu don’t have to worry because you ARE a guy… It’s only women he pervs on.” [screenshot]

“This troll keeps badmouthing me it will end badly for him. I’m a patient woman, but I do have my limits. #cantbekindtohimeveragain” [screenshot]

“Thr’s only one person I hate more than my ex son in law. he’s on twitter n he’s a huge phoney baloney. Many r on 2 him..many will learn.” [screenshot]

See how she does it? Just planting the seeds, and pretending she’s spreading the word out of concern for others. Pretending she knows more than she does. @Beccay2 smears people constantly, and this is exactly what she’s been doing (and continues to do) to @Shoq.

Here is an email @ZoeyGirlz received from @Beccay2 after Zoey made the decision to no longer be silent about @Beccay2’s attacks on people:

Charming, no? *smh* What a disgusting human being. With friends like these…you know the rest.

**ORIGINAL POST**

Yes, I’m taking a break from Twitter. No, I’m not quitting foreverandeverandever. I’ll be back when I’m back. Trust me, you’ll survive.

Those of you who pay attention will know that I am often attacked simply for knowing and defending @Shoq. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been called a sockpuppet (or a Shoqpuppet if you’re *really* clever – eleventy internets to you!) Look, this is life. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. Some don’t like @Shoq for his style, others don’t like him because there’s a persistent group of bitchasses online who make it their business to spread the story that he “bullies and harasses #p2 women”. Interestingly enough, whenever you ask for evidence of this accusation, the assholes making it quickly accuse you of being a Shoqpuppet (eleventy internets, you clever fuck!), or they protect their tweets, or suddenly they forget how to type.

For the most part, I ignore these dumb shits. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re going to make up falsehoods like that about someone, you’re shit stuck to gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Although for the record, it would be nice if some of you would actually bother to ask the accuser for evidence when you hear them spread this bullshit. You know – like you’d want others to do for you if the lie was being told about YOU. “So-and-so said @Shoq bullies them” is *not* evidence of shit – it’s a fucking smear campaign. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here’s a novel concept: if you don’t like someone, just say you don’t like them. You don’t have to attach an accusation of a serious crime to your position just to make yourself feel better. I know, right? Genius!

I don’t like plenty of people on Twitter. I’m upfront about it. If they ask me why, I’ll tell them. If they don’t, I won’t. I unfollowed @Beccay2 (formerly known as @Rebeccay) about a month ago because I learned she was being one way to @Shoq’s face, and another way behind his back. I don’t want friends like that. It’s creepy, dishonest behavior. I unfollowed quietly, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. But, as I’ve come to know is typical of @Beccay2’s passive aggressive nature, she tweeted me and called my unfollow out as some kind of “TweetDeck error”. I told her I unfollowed intentionally, and I gave her a hint as to why – one that only she would understand. Well, fuck. Apparently you can’t just expect to unfollow @Beccay2 and walk away.

@Beccay2 bleated about how “hurt” she was that I’d unfollowed her, because we were such good friends. WTF? We have exchanged tweets and some DMs, but we’re hardly good friends. I don’t know her like that, and she certainly doesn’t know me like that. What followed was an ugly spat that unfortunately dragged in a couple of other friends. Finally, she deleted her @Rebeccay account and resurfaced using her backup @Beccay2 account.

@Beccay2 has spent the last month or so tweeting endlessly about “nasties” on the left (and how kind and uniting she is…*cough*). She would lament her lost “friends” and trumpet her courage at “speaking out” against the big bad bullies. It feeds into the narrative that she’s such a poor victim, you see. Aren’t you glad you have this warrior on your side?

I’ve watched @Beccay2 work this game on a couple of other people. There’s no need to drag their names into it, but with their permission, I will point to them if they want me to. In addition to manipulative assholes like @Beccay2, I’ve had other psychos on my tail. One popped up in January, and another in April. They each have an unhealthy level of obsession with both myself and @Shoq, and for the most part I’ve ignored them. Occasionally, they’ll get RTd into my stream by assholes who seem to think this type of thing is okay.

It’s no surprise that these psychos have attracted followers like [@PainterlyOne @PaintsLegends @PaintsLegend @NadiaPaints @Nadia_Paints @LaPinteraBruja @Dzoowanakwa @Nadia_Arts @LaPaintesse @LaBohemeBrun @NameTheNadia @NadiaDeParis - seriously...all these name changes happened in one afternoon/evening, it's a 'game' to her now - total cray cray, and she just keeps providing ammo] @PainterlyOne (again) let’s just call her @Cray_Cray (whose stream is littered with obsessive tweets about both @Shoq and his Shoqpuppets – eleventy internets, moron!), but here’s what really pissed me off:

@Beccay2 – you know, Miss Super Kind-Peace-Love-And-Unity – decided she’d give @2Deforcer2 a hearty #FollowFriday endorsement.

Oh, but you guys it’s okay because @Beccay2 didn’t really know what @2Deforcer2 was all about, see?

BULLSHIT.

This is just one more of her lies. You want to know how I know? Because the troll’s timeline was exactly the reason she decided to follow in the first place.

So can we stop pretending like that disingenuous fraud is just a victim in all of this? She’s a fakeass. She’s a liar. She’s a hypocrite. If you don’t like my assessment of her, unfollow me. This isn’t “bullying” – this is calling her out on her behavior. If she’s going to endorse accounts that have been set up purely to harass others, she can go fuck herself and I will not apologize for it.

@Beccay2 has done this kind of crap before. She acts like a prick, then apologizes and tries to rationalize her behavior, then she does it again. I’m not the only one who has seen it. I don’t need her brand of bullshit in my life. If you don’t like me, that’s your choice. I’m not going to bother you about it. But if you promote and fraternize with accounts designed to harass me? You bet your fucking ass I’m going to say something – I don’t give a shit if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

These accounts thrive because of people sitting back and letting it happen. They either don’t care because it’s not happening to them, or they do care but they don’t want to become targets themselves. Whether it’s the former, or the latter: fuck you. These psychos happen because WE LET THEM HAPPEN. Assholes like @Beccay2 let them happen because she doesn’t mind letting others do her dirty work. It allows her to continue along her merry way, acting like she’s Miss Congeniality.

Fuck you, @Beccay2. The game is up.

p.s. Friends, thank you for the kind DMs. I’ll respond whenever. Besides pulling URLs for this post, I’m staying away. I don’t need the fucking angst.

p.p.s. I just can’t imagine why this person would RT this particular tweet from @Beccay2. Oh, wait. Yes I can. Time to move on, much? XOXO! Hugs! #ack

Last night, I tweeted this and this.

I don’t like oversharing about relationships in the public space generally, but I really hate it when things go bad. I’ve found myself “hiding” Facebook status updates, and unfollowing Twitter friends more and more lately because of it. It’s something that gets under my skin, and something I feel really, really strongly about.

Social networking sites can be a great place to blow off steam, discuss feelings, and ask opinions on anything and everything. However, when it comes to personal relationships, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Many of you know that I’m married, but only very few of you know I’m legally separated. My husband and I made the decision to go our separate ways late last year. Those close to me know the details, and I’ve certainly mentioned or alluded to my status change publicly in my Twitter stream. It’s not a secret by any means, but the details of it are, quite frankly, none of your damn business.

Ending my marriage has been a painful, raw, and terrifying experience. The reasons leading up to it were no different. Throughout the entire ordeal (and even in happier times), I have refrained from posting negative things about my husband, and I will continue to refrain.

I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t share their feelings. Just that there’s a way to do it, and there’s a way not to do it. I recently read the blog of a Twitter friend that walked readers through the breakdown of her marriage in detail. You could feel her pain in every word, but she never held her husband up as the “bad guy”. I just wish more people would consider dialing it back, whether you’re breaking up or breaking down. You never really know who’s following you online (particularly if your Twitter profile is public), and I would be so ashamed of myself if a mutual friend – or worse, my husband – ever saw me belittling or vilifying him.

No matter what happened between us, I have never forgotten that at one point I loved my husband enough to marry him – and that means something to me. My husband is a good man, and I’m not going to pretend he isn’t just because he’s not the right man for me. I feel that publicly disparaging him (even if I’d said the same words to his face) would say more about me than it would about him. Therefore, my choice is to continue treating what we once had with the dignity it deserves.

Thank you.

*steps down from soapbox*